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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Whirlwind Affection


Who would have thought everything will change in less than a month?

There was this guy I knew for quite awhile, let’s say almost 2 years, yet I have not spoken to him nor communicate with him all those times. Then so swiftly, I got myself so close to him in just 24days.

There was no expectation when we first had the brief conversation at the pantry. It was just a mere hi and hellos, exchanging of contacts and off we go.

It was so sudden that I caught myself smiling whenever I thought about him. I found myself so bliss whenever I’m with him. Is this what they called whirlwind affection? 

Sadly though, not all stories have happy endings. Fact is, he is committed and I can’t compete with that. 

I have been through tough times when my ex-boyfriend cheated on me and I don’t want to be the reason for a guy to cheat on his girlfriend. Well, he’s been so vocal of the reality. But unfortunately, I am like living in a fantasy because of him.

I actually stopped dating for a long time, not because nobody wants to date me, but guys are just headache, that is. Guys, especially in UAE, only want to have fun. Most of them play around. Would I let myself played with players like them? Absolutely not, I’d rather play with them instead. Would that be the reason why I cut communication with them, abruptly without reasons, just full stop? Funny is, now I am so bold so tell the guy that I like him, without expecting something in return.

I know, feelings come and go, so are people. Sooner or later, I’ll get tired of him. Affection ceases if not taken cared of, you know. It’s true that feelings are so difficult to deal with especially when emotions are flaming like fire, it just gets you crazy. 

He never told me verbally that he likes me, and I don’t know if he really is. Maybe not, that’s why he’d never tell. I have no idea, at all! It is just humiliating, sort of, that a woman like me likes him a lot, without knowing if he likes me back. What to do?

Now, I am starting to fight back. I missed him a lot. But I wouldn’t make a move anymore. He’ll get tired of me if I kept on bugging him. So I have to lay low. I put my hat off my head and lean on the pillow. Besides I still have my self preservation at rest, I have to respect myself.

No more beating around the bush, I’m whacked… so hard! Sadly, this frail heart of mine fell for someone who can’t even respond to it. But I can’t say it is a pity, it was a choice, it is a choice, that my heart likes him and will like him until it gets tired of waiting.



posted by Yesha Gee at Thursday, February 16, 2012-
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THE HEART SPEAKS

from ~~~~~~~~

DEAR JESUS,
You told Your close followers
who were taught how to seek the Father's heart
that whatever they asked for in prayer,
that they were to believe they received it
and it would be theirs. (Mark 11:24)

O, Father, help me to know Your heart intimately
so that I'll know how to pray,
what to pray,
and believe in advance
that I will receive it!


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