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Friday, January 18, 2008

Innocent Girl - Part 1

The Girls

I always thought I was an innocent girl. I frequently hear them telling me that I am so lady-like, am I not?

So, I am freshman and it is the first day of school. I haven’t had a sweet sleep last night because my excitement can’t make my eyes fall asleep and eventually spent my night dreaming with my eyes wide open. Now, I blame myself. I am too sleepy to roam around the campus and enjoy the “Big Brother, Big Sister Welcome” party. I can see smiles everywhere and I feel like a princess wearing my new uniform. At last, my mom has to keep my grade school uniform after six long years of wearing ‘that’ blue uniform and I am now wearing green. I am not really surprise who’s to see today. I knew most of the popular gal and guys in school since most of them are my friends. I am neither sure what makes us popular but it is no fun at all since I have to keep myself look at my best because everyone expects me to look good always. I can’t really imagine how a friend of mine look so hot in her uniform while someone I don’t know somewhere not really far away looked terrible in the same colored uniform. Perhaps I am judging too much or maybe I just saw the truth.

Just like a habit, I am sitting at the bleacher, just like what I always do in grade school. I sit here not relax myself but to make my eyes work. Yes, I have this bad habit – well we all does. My eyes will be the worst critic in the history of HC High School because it’s easy for me to point who is “trying-hard”, who’s “humble” and who’s “who did not care at all”.

A girl on ponytail with green ribbon had my eyes. What the heck this girl is thinking? She shouldn’t be wearing ponytail since her face is so round. Is she imitating my friend Kris? Ponytail started as a hair “statement” when Kris starts wearing it. Ponytail is really cute on her because she’s got this heart-shaped face and if you adore Kris so much, you’ll likely copy her style. I frown, not because I’m bored but because I can’t make a sigh. Sighing is a “no-no” in the group; we see it as unpretty and unglamorous. If I knew that girl, I would come right in front of her and tell her to change her style asap.

So, what’s my plan for today? Other than judging people who come across me, there’s nothing more to think about and I don’t want to give a little attention to class; if class starts, I will be the most boring girl and will just play with my ballpen.

Speaking of ballpen, I was in 5th grade when Med bought 6 ballpens with glitters. I had the yellow one since I did not choose which color I’d like. Five of us picked their colors first and what was left was mine. I don’t really mind what color at all, and I would feel lighter at heart if they will have their preferred colors. So Med had the red, Kris with pink, Miles with lilac, Jojo with sky blue, Shelly with orange, then mine’s the yellow. We actually can’t use the pen in making homework and quizzes because our teachers require either blue or black – yeah, so boring colors but they’re particular about formality – so we used the glittering pen for out slum book and autograph notebook instead. We find the pen really cute, we always bring it along, we talked about and we make our slum book and autograph stand out the crowd – all by just using the pen. Then people starts recognizing the cute pens and they start buying the same stuff. Funny, isn’t it? I just smiled every time someone tells me she got the “yellow” glittering pen. I don’t really know what to reply because I don’t know what it means she’s got the “yellow” one. Is she idolizing me? I laughed inside. I don’t really choose the color. It so happen – it is what was left when everyone seem enjoying picking their favorite color. Does she know I prefer brown than yellow? Maybe I’m a little wicked. I did not choose among the pens when Med asked us to choose one – simply because I didn’t see brown in them. Besides, if there happens to be brown, no one will pick it since they knew it’s mine. So, I am puzzled what should I be telling this girl – this 6th grader girl.

Miles is the sweetest girl in the group and most of the 6th grader boys like her. So Miles got this straight hair, cute nose, red kissable lips, well-curved eyebrows, and two cute dimples. For me, Miles is the sexiest. The 6 of us almost have the same figure though, but I just like her body. If you see 6th grader guys flirting outside our class room – means it’s just an ordinary day. Those pieces of junks are always there to see the beautiful lady and I see them really hopeless. Did they know Miles hate guys like them? Miles prefer a guy who doesn’t seem to give her much attention – just like Noli. If you want Miles to notice you, ignore her. And Noli seem to pay her less attention because this guy would rather spend time talking to his pal, Jam.

Someone blind-folded me with a hand, and cut my daytime traveling through time. Wow, I think I froze for quite a time since I haven’t noticed Jojo sat beside me and Miles blind-folded me. The past really got me into daydreaming and ate me. So Jojo noticed my new doll shoes and start asking me where I bought it. I don’t pay much attention because I see Med and Kris coming. Miles, like me, is in deep thoughts. I am not sure what she’s thinking about but Kris snap her figures in front of her and wake her up. Like Jojo, Med noticed my doll shoes. Everyone seems to like them, so I tell them to buy a new pair of doll shoes too.

Finally, the program has started. The students crowded the bleachers; and I can now feel the heat and start feeling uneasy. I say “relax” to myself and asked Kris if she brought her fan. Before I heard the Principal announce the welcoming speech for the freshman, everyone already clapping their hands and whistling, so we start waving and smile.

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posted by Yesha Gee at Friday, January 18, 2008-
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from ~~~~~~~~

You told Your close followers
who were taught how to seek the Father's heart
that whatever they asked for in prayer,
that they were to believe they received it
and it would be theirs. (Mark 11:24)

O, Father, help me to know Your heart intimately
so that I'll know how to pray,
what to pray,
and believe in advance
that I will receive it!

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